So a while back i was at this party and i was the first girl to arrive and there were like 20 guys already there, we were all siting around, having a beer and whatnot when the dj arrived. So all the guys went out the front of the house to help set up the dj gear and it was just me sitting there alone in the backyard for like 5 minuets. I stood up to go follow them bc i was getting really bored when i realized something, my period had gone through my white pants and stained the while chair, i was humiliated, i had no idea what to do, i could hear the guys were coming back and i had to do something quick, time was running out. So i grabbed the chair, ran like 10 meters and threw it over the fence into the neighboring yard, i quickly walked back and tied my jacket around my waist. The guys soon returned and didn’t suspect a thing, i am amazing.
i try not to sound like an asshole but it’s really hard because i am an asshole
my mom texted me a facebook screenshot of this today and said ‘sounds like something you would say LOL’ like u have no idea mom
My yearbook quote.
OKAY SO I HAVE THIS ECZEMA
ECZEMA YOU NORMALLY GET WHEN YOU’RE 3, BUT GROW OUT OF IT BY THE AGE OF 10, TOPS. BUT I’M 16 IN A MONTH AND I STILL HAVE ONE OF THE WORST SEEN CASES IN THE STATE.
AND TODAY I SPRAYED THIS THING CALLED AVENE ON ME
YOU MIGHTVE SEEN IT ON A CURRENT AFAIR IF YOU LIVE IN AUSTRALIA??? THAT LITTLE GIRL WHO TRAVELLED TO FRANCE FOR HER ECZEMA AND BATHED FOR A MONTH
WELL THAT’S AVENE
THIS MOTHERFUCKER CALLED AVENE
WATER FROM THE FUCKING VOLCANIC MOUNTAINS IN FRANCE, YOU APPLY IT TO YOUR SKIN AND VOI FUCKING LA
YOUR SKIN TURNS FROM GROTESQUE LITTLE THICK SKINNED TOMATOFUCK TO PARTIALLY HUMAN IN WHAT I COUNTED AS 4 MINUTES
IT ISN’T THICK, IT ISNT SCABBY, IT ISNT DRY OR SCRACKED. I CAN ACTUALLY MOVE MY FACIAL MUSCLES WITHOUT CRYING IN PAIN
IT GETS RID OF EVERY SKIN THING POSSIBLE, OILY SKIN RASHES PIMPLES SUNBURN DRY SKIN PSORIASIS ECZEMA WRINKLES IT GETS RID OF EVERY
THING YOU CAN IMAGINE
OVER A PERIOD OF WEEKS YOU SHOULD SEE A HUGE DIFFERENCE
I’VE ONLY USED IT ONCE, ABOUT 20 MINUTES AGO AND LOOK AT MY HAND IT IS LIKE A NORMAL HAND IM LITERALLY IN TEARS HERE OKAY IM CRYING I HAVE TEARS STEAMING DOWN MY FACE
what has four letters and is very hard
why the hell did we all learn the exact words
"the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell"
my dash told me what happens to cool and trendy kids
tell us your most embarrassing story
see that girl you just called a bitch? she didn’t hear you say it louder
Apparently this is "The clearest photo of Mercury ever taken."
why isnt everyone getting so excited about this, it is literally another planet look at how beautiful it is stop what your doing and look at how alien like this planet is what is living there oh my god mercury
and guess what in space they pick categories when they have a lot of things to name like the craters on mercury. the category for naming them is after deceased artists
when i order 20 chicken nuggets at mcdonalds instead of the usual 6
Elsa got arrested
This is amazing.
let me go
let me go
A beach in Maldives awash in bioluminescent Phytoplankton looks like an ocean of stars.
I need a hug or 6 shots of vodka